Looking back at my high school self, one of my major flaws was a lack of confidence. Even though I had good grades, a lot of friends, and people generally liked me, I didn't think of myself being worth much. I definitely wasn't good enough for that popular hot girl I had a crush on and I wasn't athletic enough to be on my varsity cross country team. I almost wish I could go back and have a conversation with my younger self and explain the importance of confidence, I believe it would have made all the difference.
Learning The Game
My journey of becoming more confident begins with my best friend, Johnny. Johnny convinced me to read a book called The Game by Neil Strauss. Embarrassing as it sounds, the main focus of the book is how to pick up chicks. It took a little while, but I finally admitted that I needed some help with my lady skills. Johnny and I took this to a new level and learned all the terminology of The Game and started using these new words in our daily vocabulary. Some examples are:
- DHV = Display of Higher Value
- DLV = Display of Lower Value
- Neg = Giving a compliment then taking it way. Example: "I love your hair! It reminds me of a mop!"
- PUA = Pick Up Artist
- AMOG = Alpha Male Of Group
After studying The Game with Johnny for years I realized that all these techniques and methods were all exercises to make myself more confident. Just believing that something will work makes it more probable that it actually will. Learning how to AMOG (Alpha Male Of Group) meant that I had to learn to believe I was a better catch than the guy standing across from me. I learned how my knowledge, things that I considered being nerdy was a DHV (Display of Higher Value) and made me more attractive. This discovery gave me the courage to join robotics. For years, I had avoided nerdy clubs because of the social pressure but now, I realized it just didn't matter, I was going to do it because I was going to be good at it. I took pride in my nerdy tendencies and to my surprise, it seemed like people (even the popular kids) liked me more. It's funny, a book I read to get girls led me to build robots.
Exercising My Confidence
The biggest part of The Game was being confident in yourself. After all, if you didn't think you were worthwhile for that hottie you were hitting on, she probably wouldn't neither. I have to give credit to Johnny for teaching me these techniques. Although they sound a bit pathetic, they really helped me.
Looking in the mirror and telling myself "I am awesome."
This would be pretty embarrassing if someone walked in on me doing with but it worked. Every morning before I went to school I would look at myself in the mirror and tell myself things like "You are awesome Brandon!" or "Damn, what a sexy guy I am looking at." After doing this for about a month straight, I actually started to believe it. For the first time in my life, I believed I was an awesome person.
Making a list of what makes me attractive"
I would make a list of at least ten reasons why I would be a good guy for a girl to date. Believe it or not, this is pretty hard when you are first starting. I wasn't able to come up with a complete list the first few tries.
Getting outside my comfort zone
Trying new things or talking to that girl that would normally make too nervous really helped my confidence. Almost everytime I tried something that I was nervous trying it went very well and if it didn't, it turned out that it wasn't so bad. Before long, I was able to do anything I wanted or talk to anyone I desired.
How Confidence Helped Me
I set out to build confidence to help me with getting a girl's number but it ended up helping me in so many other areas of my life. Confidence helps with business, making decisions, and my overall happiness. In business, confidence helps me show that I am the best person for the job. It helps me make difficult decisions that Simply said, I am proud to be me.